Don't Be a Ball Bag
Advice and the musings of somewhat who isn't a Ball Bag

Feb
27

Hey guys,

I’ve done a couple of posts in this vein that deal with the wider world but usually we are more of a Ball Bag with the people we see all the time and who on earth do you see more than the people you live with them?

There is always going to be tension in a house because I sincerely doubt that there are 2 people anywhere that can live with each other drama free, let alone 3 or more. There are how ever ways to avoid drama and anger, so you can continue to live together in peace, harmony and a lack of ball bags. Here are my tips:-

Step 1 – Make sure there is a problem:- It is entirely possible that you’re imagining that there is a problem or an issue in the house when in fact it only happening in you’re head. This is a very important step in resolving a problem without being laughed at by the other people you live with.

Step 2 – Make sure you’re not the source of the problem:- From personal experience I have been on the receiving end of complaints where the only problem that has occurred is that someone has decided they’re pissed off with something that either a) doesn’t matter to anyone else in the house or b)  they are the cause of in the first place but are strangely under the impression this isn’t the case. This level of delusion causes a high level of Ball Baggery

Step 3 – Use your words but via your voice:- Notes are a very bad idea, unless you are incredibly polite, justified and take the time afterwards to clarify anything in words.  Most people who write notes tend to be overly aggressive while being overly passive (for some fantastic example why not visit passiveaggresivenotes.com) just very nicely talk to the person you have a problem with, they will most likely listen and then explain why they may disagree with you. This method allows for a conclusion to be reached and it becomes apparently more quickly and with less embarrassment than using a note.

I hope some of these tips help you have a more harmonious and ball bag free home life,

NaBB

Feb
26

Sorry for the absence of posting recently i’ve been rather swamped. I’ve been meaning to write this episode for a while as I must have seen 4 or 5 different instances of this particular game recently and it made me wonder about the end of relationships.

Hopefully this won’t sound too cynical but practically all of your relationships will end, they might end civilly or they may end in an explosive rage and with a metric shit tonne of drama. If you’re really lucky the relationship won’t end and you’ve found the one but what if you haven’t?

Rationally if you realise the person you’re with isn’t the one for you then you should break up, this is never an easy thing to do but here are a couple of tips to help you out:-

1) Be honest, just not too honest – Tell them what it is that is causing you to end the relationship but don’t crush or insult them, they may end up feeling crap as it is there is no need to rub salt in the wound. Equally don’t bullshit them it’ll just sound hollow and can be just as bad as being overly honest, just find the right balance

2) Make sure it doesn’t come out of the blue – If there is something in a relationship that is bothering you it’s important to talk to the other person openly,  if things have really started to spiral it should be obvious to both of you if you’re talking to each other. This increases your chances of a clean break up and you’ve got a better chance of saving a friendship

3) Wait before you end up with someone else – If you have just told someone you’re not really ready for a serious relationship (as cliché as that sounds it is a totally acceptable position to be in) and then end up with someone else a week later thats a real kick in the teeth. It’s also really important you don’t jump into bed with anyone until After you’ve broken up other wise your a Ball Bag

Some people how ever when they sense the end of a relationship they bottle it and won’t start the break up, if two people do this you end up with a game of relationship chicken, as seen in season 4 of How I Met Your Mother, in this stupid game they end up getting more and more serious and it means the inevitable break up (and depending on how seriously into the game they are divorce) so much worse.

There is a variant of this where someone begins to play relationship chicken with someone who has no intention of the relationship ever ending.  Maybe they’re really in love or maybe they’re just massively creepy it varies from case to case but when it happens there is going to be some much drama you might want to take a holiday somewhere far far away from it.

Hope this helps,

NaBB

Feb
13

I have some time to kill and a handy new app on my blackberry that let’s me make posts so I figured I’d give it a shot (ok so I’m not completely imune to being a ball bag but I’m pretty good so back off.)

Basically I just want to highlight a kind of Ball-Bagism that I’ve found quite common and it’s usually directed towards people with interests that are less than common. I’ve experienced this phenomenon frequently as I’m quite the geek. I play quite a lot of video games, rpg’s, I read a lot of fantasy and play and buy far too much magic: the gathering.

Many of my friends are interested in equally geeky areas and many of us are told we should “grow up” and that our interests are “for children” well if you’ve read or seen Watchmen its startlingly obvious that comic books aren’t exclusively for children and your ill informed and ball-bag fuelled insults are foolish.

Another thing I should point out is that I can still find simple things unironically awesome and can find enjoyment stunningly easily, so my life from this perspective seems richer.

This notion that you know how someone should act and telling them so can be harmless but it can equally lead to nasty areas such as homophobia so make sure you remember how lacking in knowledge we all are.

Try to be kind out there,

NaBB

Feb
13

I have some time to kill and a handy new app on my blackberry that let’s me make posts so I figured I’d give it a shot (ok so I’m not completely imune to being a ball bag but I’m pretty good so back off.)

Basically I just want to highlight a kind of Ball-Bagism that I’ve found quite common and it’s usually directed towards people with interests that are less than common. I’ve experienced this phenomenon frequently as I’m quite the geek. I play quite a lot of video games, rpg’s, I read a lot of fantasy and play and buy far too much magic: the gathering.

Many of my friends are interested in equally geeky areas and many of us are told we should “grow up” and that our interests are “for children” well if you’ve read or seen Watchmen its startlingly obvious that comic books aren’t exclusively for children and your ill informed and ball-bag fuelled insults are foolish.

Another thing I should point out is that I can still find simple things unironically awesome and can find enjoyment stunningly easily, so my life from this perspective seems richer.

This notion that you know how someone should act and telling them so can be harmless but it can equally lead to nasty areas such as homophobia so make sure you remember how lacking in knowledge we all are.

Try to be kind out there,

NaBB

Feb
12

So when it comes to relationships how far is it reasonable to change yourself in order to get into a relationship?  To me it’s always seemed reasonable to find someone who likes you for who you are and not try and become the person that someone else thinks you should be. To illustrate this heres a video from How I Met Your Mothers 100th episode

So in that clip we have Barney pretending to change in order to sleep with a girlfriend and i imagine in his style never call her again, I’m sure we can all agree this is classic Ball Bag behaviour.  So lets say you really really like a guy or girl is it ok to do something similar?  In a nut shell no, you’d be lying to them and you’re likely to end up in a miserable relationship till it inevitably blows up in your face leaving two people who are most likely really bitter.

So if you do like someone get to know them and hopefully they’ll like you back for who you are now not who you could be or who you pretend to be, if they don’t then sod them it isn’t worth your time and you may have just saved yourself a year with a Ball Bag.

Good luck out there,

NaBB

Feb
10

What with Facebook being a massively popular site for social interaction it makes sense that some of these interactions are going to be with a Ball Bag or 10. So you’re sat at your computer and your about to post something as your status or in a note, do you ask yourself “am I being a Ball Bag?” I’m sure you don’t so here are a few tips to make sure the answer to that question is a resounding  no:

1) If it’s private don’t post it!

I’m sure you think that the intimate details of your sex and social life must be shared  with everyone who has sent you a friend request but would you like to read this when you logged into Facebook?

2)  DoN’t WrItE lIkE tHiS

I’m not sure if writing like that is a secret code among Ball Bags or just a Ball Bag warning system for the rest of us, but it took my 4 times as long to type that than if i’d done it correctly and I actually know how to use the shift key so I’m sure it takes Ball Bags 20 minutes to do.

3) Take the time to spell check

I can understand why grammar Nazi’s get the hate that they do, grammar is a slightly more pain in the ass thing to get right than spelling, but many internet browsers have built in spell checkers now so you don’t have much excuse

4) Use the full correct word

This is pretty closely tied to the last point but its slightly different, mostly this is the will-full ignorance of the correct way to spell words rather than a mistake. Yes it may be fractionally quicker to right U than You, but woz has the same number of letters as was so what the hell are you trying to prove? Remember vowels are your friends you don’t need to try and eliminate all of them!

Hopefully these tips will help you spot Ball Bags or stop being one,

NaBB

Feb
09

Today’s Episode of lessons from a sitcom is all about the little thing. Specifically those little things that drive you up the freaking wall.

The most difficult thing about relationships is that there is another person involved in them (or maybe more than that for you polygamists out there) and pretty much everyone else you meet is going to have habits and personality traits that irritate the crap out of you to the point you consider trying to make your own head implode.

Now when this happens there are many ways to deal with it, quite a few of these ways will make you a Ball Bag and I’m sure that’s something you’d rather not be.  So lets say your being driven crazy by your significant other what are your options?

Well you could try changing the person you’re with until nothing about them annoys you, granted if you do try this and succeed you’ll likely be dating someone made out of playdoh as well as being a Ball bag for trying to change someone for your own selfish ends, so lets move on to another option.

You could try ignoring the problem and hope it goes away or you stop being bothered by it, though unless you’re 6 years old and still believe covering your eyes will make you invisible then it is unlikely that this is going to be successful.

As you can learn from watching Scrubs for example you never stop being ignored by the little things is a relationship but if you really care about someone then it ultimately doesn’t matter when it comes down to it. If you do end up with someone and you really can’t get past all the little things then maybe there is another problem that you need to address and the only real way to improve things in relationships is healthy communication.

Thanks for reading,

NaBB

Feb
08

There are many places people can act like Ball Bags, even people who are normally no more scrotal than the next person. So how do you avoid making a Ball Bag of yourself? Well that’s exactly what these posts are going to be about! I thought i’d start with a subject that I’ve had a lot of experience with and of course it lets me link to the GIFT from Penny Arcade .

So here are a few tips to avoid being that guy everyone would like to kick in the throat with spiked shoes:-

  1. Remember other players are people too.Something that you’d imagine is a rather obvious but lets imagine your walking down the street and someone is doing something slightly differently to how you’d prefer, are you going to start shouting and swearing to them in the street? No? Then don’t do it to them over the internet, Ball Bag!
  2. Gaming isn’t a job it’s meant to be fun.

    Again something you may imagine is a blatantly obvious point to make but sometimes you find someone who decides he the arbiter of skill and that everyone must play to his standards. If you have the time and/or skill to be that good at game that’s fantastic but some people (rather healthily) have other interests and are playing this game to unwind so lay off.
  3. Remember you’re not necessarily among your group of friends Among my friends we have a lot of in jokes, many of which are hideously offensive if you don’t have the back story and a similar sense of humour, i also know how when it’s okay for me to use less than civilised language. You don’t know the sensibilities of the people your playing with and so instead of saying “I totally just raped you” maybe just go with a far less risky “owned” because you don’t know who your playing with and what they might think or feel.
  4. Don’t complain about lag Okay you just got shot in the face and it sucks and maybe you did get screwed by a bad frame rate or a spike in your latency, but sometimes you just didn’t do as well as the next guy and when you try and piss over his achievement your being a Ball Bag, and no one wants that.

Thanks for reading,

NaBB

Feb
06

This may seem like an obvious thing to state but when it comes to relationships you can learn an incredible amount just from paying attention to the obvious messages from sitcoms.

So in the first of many (hopefully) segments devoted to this idea I’m going to discuss a quite simple lesson from sitcoms,  to be honest it is the most simple thing to do in a relationship in order to avoid being a Ball Bag.  It is of course :-

When in a relationship don’t cheat on your significant other.

or if that’s too confusing:-

Don’t put your dick in it.

You may think that this is clearly an obvious rule to follow but some how Ball Bags manage to mess this up with startling frequency and efficiency.  Now you may well think you have a completely reasonable excuse for putting your penis where it doesn’t belong (or vice verse for the female Ball Bags) and quite honestly you don’t. If your in a position where your considering cheating then here is what you should do, talk to the person your in a relationship with about why your unhappy, unfulfilled or what ever the factor is driving you to cheat. A side effect of such a conversation indeed could be that you end up single, but trust me it’s far better to end with civilised talk than with raised voices, thrown objects and brandished weapons (and probably slightly less bloody)

Well that’s all for this episode of “lessons from a sitcom.”

Remember don’t be a Ball Bag,

NaBB

Feb
05

Welcome to my first ever post of “Don’t Be a Ball Bag”  I guess if you’re reading this strangely titled blog your either trying to stop being a Ball Bag to those people in your life, you’re already not a Ball Bag a feel like a chuckle or a refresher course, or someone who actually knows me and is planning to either be supportive or ridicule me.

I suppose there are a few areas I’m going to try and cover as I write this blog:-

  • Relationships – I have seen my fair share of awesome couples that know exactly what they’re doing and I’ve also seen many more people act like total Ball Bags to people they supposedly care about, hopefully I might be able to shift the balance more in the favour of Awesome than Ball Bag.
  • Friendships – In a similar vein to  the previous point but you can be a huge Ball Bag to your friends in many ways so I hope to point out a few traps you can avoid.
  • Issues – There is quite frankly a huge amount of stuff that happens in the world, and there are some massive Ball Bags involved, i may not know all the answers but I intend to give my opinion on how not being a Ball Bag may help resolve some issues.
  • Reviews – As you may well expect someone who has time to write a blog such as this has time to watch quite a few films and television shows as well as play quite a few games so if I have a particularly strong opinion i may occasionally post it.

My intention with choosing a topic as far reaching as Don’t Be a Ball Bag is to be able to write about as much as possible while keeping some degree of theme, though if I do find anything else I particularly wish to talk about that’ll be posted as well.

Anyway I hope this ends up atleast being interesting for me and maybe make the world a little less Ball Bag filled,

NaBB